mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize