I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
