just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
