he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
