I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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