how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
