it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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