but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
