Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
