Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
