i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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