Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
