Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
