Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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