shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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