He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
