can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
