just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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