hell yes lets make some ravioli
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The air was thick with penises
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
