Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
