gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he thought i was a dude.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
