Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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