are you still at the devil's house?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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