i just had sex bonerless
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
