Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
