On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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