I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
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