I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
