My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
