So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
