so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize