Can Purell be used as lube?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
