I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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