2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
