There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
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so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
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I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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