Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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