omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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