I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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