I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
