I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
