At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
