I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
