He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
