Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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