Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize