I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
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She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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