You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
