well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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