we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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