have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
