We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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