I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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