that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
