I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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