I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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