Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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