it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
