I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i black out too much to be "responsible"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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