I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
How does one acquire holy water?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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