I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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