Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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