Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
