i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
