Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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