Soap is not a condiment
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My penis needs a shock collar
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
