apparently the secret to your success is patron
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
