I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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