A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
