The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
