she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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